gaming xmas guide; grades; xmas shopping and the rest…

OK, first things first:

• the NZGamer christmas guide for gamers has just been posted. Talk about a pile under the christmas tree!
• I’m not going for anything electronic this year (uh, not that I do other years either, not really) - Steve and I have decided we’re going to make as many of our presents as possible. We’re going to give things like dukkah and spice mixes, homemade cookies (Snickerdoodles for Dad!), some of my pottery, knitted things (socks), and I’m sending my sis some of my homespun wool. Yeah, a real touchy-feely christmas for all, but it’s actually pretty fun.

In other news:

• I made soap! Yes, soap! I started off with this recipe here, but had to modify it when I realised we got home from our grocery shop and I’d forgotten to get the olive oil! Had to rush down to the dairy but they only had one 500 ml bottle. I increased the amount of coconut  and palm oils to make up for the lacking 500ml. In addition, I decreased the amount of lye used, as I double checked the quantities using the very great Majestic Mountain Sage Lye Calculator. Unfortunately, as MMS can’t send liquids overseas, I had to purchase my ingredients somewhere else - and did so through the very excellent Aromatics and More, for the oils (including fragrance oils), and I purchased the sodium hydroxide (lye) from Go Native. Both sites were very good to deal with - I recommend them wholeheartedly. I also changed the recipe a bit by splitting the batch into two after I reached trace, and gave each a different fragrance (using half the sweet almond oil and fragrance oil for each batch). So I have two trays of vanilla and green apple soaps all curing now in my kitchen. It’s going to be hard to wait for them to cure!
• I got an A for my research essay! I’m still waiting to find out about my final grade (as the honours mark incorporates the work you do in all your subjects, and is just one overall grade), but in a way I don’t care - I put in a lot of work into my essay and I’m really proud of it. That mark alone has made last year’s work all worthwile!

shhh…

I’m at my desk at home, and I’m meant to be working on my research essay. I’ve just finished the section on Tea From An Empty Cup, the part that goes

Yuki, likewise, discovers that in order to recreate Old Japan it is necessary for her to “open” herself to Old Japan, and allow herself to be controlled by three puppet handlers in order to perform bunraku, the classic puppet theatre of Old Japan. Unlike her earlier experience, bunraku is a different sensation, and has a different purpose:

Something rippled through her, like a sensation from someone else’s body, as if someone else were sharing the suit with her by some remote access. Except this time, it didn’t feel hideously obscene, like being invaded by a stranger from within.

There was a gentle touch on her shoulder and she looked up to see a large doll-woman in traditional Japanese costume floating in front of her on the table. It bowed and began to move slowly and precisely, with as much grace as a living person.

Not a doll. A puppet, with several living persons behind its movements. Her movements. Bunraku. Not a children’s diversion but the classic puppet theatre of Old Japan, as serious as Noh and Kabuki, a demonstration of skill and grace, control and cooperation. Now she could see the outlines of the people moving the puppet if not their faces. See them and feel them- (p. 219.)

The distinction between the two types of possession is important. The first type, as initially experienced by Yuki, as well as Konstantin’s victims, is a twist on any sort of lifeworld prostitution; while the second depicts nothing less than the manifestation of Levy’s knowledge space, Ryan’s potential, emergent worlds, Galloway’s social ‘control and cooperation’, and Hayles’ complex commingling of ‘disembodied information’ and an ‘embodied human lifeworld’. In short, the climax of Tea From an Empty Cup can be seen as a unification of each of these seemingly different approaches. Cadigan’s future portrayal of cyberspace does nothing less than to envisage a technical, cultural and spiritual unity, where virtual emergence is initiated through nothing less than a massive societal unity.

The problem, I’ve just realised, is that I want to discuss both Snow Crash and The Diamond Age, but is it tacky to have two books by Neal Stephenson, and just one by Pat Cadigan? Somehow it seems inbalanced, and well, just wrong.

9:41pm. Still in my work clothes, plus my Rosa sweater that I’ve been stitching together. I’m wearing it with one arm missing. That’s the sort of evening this one is winding up to be.

I miss traveling. I guess that’s one of the main drawbacks about living in New Zealand. James mentioned something similar in an email he sent me a few days ago. He really likes it here but it just takes so long to get anywhere.

When I left Dublin he gave me a CD of the Stone Roses, and a book of Kavanagh poetry. I like “Ploughman”:

I turn the lea-green down
Gaily now,
And paint the meadow brown
With my plough.

I dream with silvery gull
And brazen crow.
A thing that is beautiful
I may know.

Tranquility walks with me
And no care.
O, the quiet ecstasy
Like a prayer.

I find a star-lovely art
In a dark sod.
Joy that is timeless! O heart
That knows God!

Hey.

Just a little update today. Added a couple of things to my ever-growing projects list, and aside from that have been busy with work! I’m going up to uni this afternoon to discuss my research essay, which I’m happy to report is now up to 2,500 words - in other words, 25% is done! Just saying that is such a relief. After that I think I might walk home… it’s just half an hour’s walk from uni, and it’s such a gorgeous day out there.

Ooh, and Brent lent me his copy of The Princess Bride on DVD (I only have a crappy VHS taped-off-TV version with ads), which I think I shall watch tonight over my Rosa that I’m knitting:

(In green, not pink!)

Wet day

Today’s been really wet and cold. Steve’s on earlies at the moment so we got in to work just after half seven. Was due to meet Brian up at uni at 9, so left work about twenty minutes early, caught the cable car up to the university, struggled through the wind and rain, arrived out of breath at the Von Zedlitz building…and he wasn’t there. I hung around for a while but wound up just leaving a note and heading back down the hill to work. It was a bummer that we missed each other but quite good really to get out of work for a while and take a breather.

We went round again to the house at lunchtime, for our inspection before we get the keys (hopefully tomorrow)! Everything looked good, the whole house was feeling light and clean and dry. Cold though. We’ve been looking at using wool for our ceiling insulation, rather than Pink Batts (fibreglass) in the ceiling and walls, and the polystyrene stuff that you fit under the floors. Meant to be good for breathe-ability, moisture absorption, warmth, plus it’s made from a renewable resource (non-petroleum based!). Bonus all round, really. The prices are comparable to Pink Batts as well.

I’m hanging out for the weekend; this week’s been another really busy one, with new craft groups joined, a mortgage signed for, work done on my research essay, knitting done, training for the people who are taking over my tasks once I leave my job… and I got a call this morning to say my roosters had been framed and I could come and pick them up!

(Perhaps a bit of explaining’s required. Steve and I were wandering around the art shops in Hoi An, back during our Vietnam trip, and I was trying to decide whether I should buy something or not. There was a lot of great modern art, and quite a lot of production line stuff as well. We were poking around when suddenly I saw it, the painting I had to have, that I knew would forever remind me of that moment. It was (is!) of a couple of gaudy looking roosters, on a dark green background, in oils. The main feature of the painting is their flamboyant, playful, gorgeously colorful tail plumage. It had a heavy black frame and looked like it had been up in the corner of the gallery for quite a while. They seemed surprised that I liked it but took the painting down and removed it from the frame and the canvas (the back of the canvas was stained and old), rolled it up and sealed it in a tube for me! There was just something about it that I loved, that spoke to me. I bought it.)

Because the painting was so kooky I knew I had to get a special frame for it.  In the end I picked a heavy, rich dark wood, with waves in it that echoed the splay of the roosters’ tails. Picking it up today the woman behind the counter was gushing over it, saying how perfect the frame looked for the painting. I can’t believe how good it looks - it echoes the weirdness of the painting, but the colour, heaviness and thickness of the wood gives it a bit of polish, or gravitas, or something.

I reckon I’ll put it up over the couch, and take you a photo.

Free afternoon

I got a phone call this morning from Brian to say he couldn’t make it this afternoon, so I’m here at work with no trip up to uni, but still it’s a little bit of a relief. Not that I don’t enjoy our discussions of my (slowly) developing research paper, but it will be good to be able to go to the next meeting with a bit more to show for myself.

Work’s incredibly quiet and dull at the moment and I’m finding it really difficult these days to maintain some degree of enthusiasm for what’s become a highly repetitious, mind-numbing set of routines.

Yesterday Steve and I went to the Wellington city gallery during lunch and had a look at the “Telecom Prospect 2007” exhibition. As with a lot of modern art, some was exciting and interesting, some pretty ho-hum. I very much like the gallery though, set in the middle of the Civic Square. It reminds me a little of the area around the library in The Hague, which I used to bike to every week or so when I lived over there.

- Some days I biked out to Scheveningen too, which was awesome. I miss being able to cycle everywhere. Wellington’s a great city, but a lot of people who drive are still real jerks when it comes to looking out for cyclists, plus the streets are often too narrow to give any cyclists real space. I don’t bike at all here, and I miss it.

Those days were really awesome, and though it’s weird thinking back to times spent with an ex, I felt good in myself back then. I was writing a lot, reading a lot, working very little, discovering The Hague, cycling around, seeing loads of great art as well. Not just Van Gough and Piet Mondrian (who I fell in love with), but a lot of other contemporary European art as well. I very much think the not working had a lot to do with it, but there was also the excitement of discovering a new place, having the time to write and read copiously, and having free reign over Aart’s apartment when he was at work. Plus it was great getting to the point when I could communicate with shopkeepers in dutch, or order things in pubs (not just ‘twee bieren’ either) . And I love foreign supermarkets, hehe.

I’d love to re-connect with that feeling again. And I do think it’s possible to do that in Wellington. There are so many things I have here that completely top what I had back then, especially Steve and Sooty, who make me feel so amazing. But my work situation really is bad news, I don’t like what it has done to my brain and my self-confidence. I need to explore more, do some more stuff on my own. (Quit and get some kooky random job…)

Best swim so far

Monday at work. The day’s actually gone by pretty quickly, and it was a lovely day, so I really can’t complain there. Yes, it’s Autumn, but it’s still sunny, with just a hint of crispness in the air. I love it.

Steve & I went home for lunch, rode home on the scooter, up past the Botanic Gardens (and bus loads of tourists), under the viaduct and up to Karori. It’s strange living in the burbs after so long being right in town. I like the space though. Like our big back yard and garden, and I love so much having a cat. Sooty is so damn awesome.

It was a good weekend, too. I met with Brian up at uni, and discussed my research topic some more - it’s actually threatening to take shape! That was Thursday. Friday was Peter’s last day at work, so we had some farewell drinks for him, and then Steve and I headed home to meet his parents, who stayed with us for the weekend.

It was really lovely to see them again, to just relax and do things like cook them dinner and watch Father Ted reruns with them. I got some study done, and actually got the drum carder out that Steve gave me for my birthday last year, and carded up a whole blend of bright pink wool with this gorgeous black Alpaca I’ve had since we made that trip out to Nicola’s friend’s farm. I started spinning it yesterday. It’s a really lovely pink with black flecks, and so soft with the Alpaca. It’s gorgeous. I spun and watched Goonies. It was bloody great.

Then in the afternoon, Steve came with me to the pools and we both did some lengths. I had my best swim so far (since I got back into swimming mid-March) - 32 lengths! 800 metres! I know that’s peanuts compared to what normal swimmers swim, but for me, it felt amazing to have got to that point. I’m really happy about it!!

Few more NZGamer updates

Last week was really full on - I had two reviews and a preview to do for NZGamer, as well as all my other stuff with work and uni. Thankfully I got them all done on time:

Sims 2 Seasons

The Dig

Brothers In Arms: Hell’s Highway

Feels nice to have them done. I posted the Sims Seasons review just minutes before Sandra, Joe, Jono, Eman (and Nicola later) arrived for a night of poker. Surprisingly, I won 38 bucks. It was fun anyway, but the money kept Steve and I in pizza for the week, and paid for the odd work lunch that I bought. Nice!

Work’s OK. I am still horribly bored, but at a total loss as to what I should do about it. I’ve been keeping an eye out for jobs, but they all seem so much the same that I’m not really excited about most of them. There is one job that Tash has recommended I apply for at TradeMe, but I haven’t heard anything back from them about that one yet.

Things are going really well, otherwise. We’re slowly moving into autumn, it’s getting dark earlier, but the weather is still for the most part pretty sunny and warm (although there were flash floods up in Northland last night, apparently a couple of motel units got washed away in Kerikeri!).

Steve’s parents are coming to stay with us this weekend, for a wedding in town. Saturday they are heading to the wedding, Steve’s heading up to Raumati to suss out his house that he is selling, and I am going to get stuck into some of the books that Brian lent me for my research topic. Hoping to get some writing done at some point as well.

And then it’s Easter next weekend! Hopefully it will be quiet and relaxing.

Stomach growling now, time to see if I can drag Steve out into the sunshine and see if we can find some food.

New NZGamer review and preview

Just a quick “hello”, to add in these links for a new review and preview I recently wrote for NZGamer.com.

Warhawk preview

Jade Empire (PC) review

Aside from that, have been busy with uni (I’m finally kicking off my research topic, which is going to be on virtual worlds), going to stuff around town (including the very excellent Camera Obscura concert at the San Fran Bathhouse), playing Okami on my new PS2, work, and hanging out with my boys, Steve & Sooty!

Coming soon? Lemonheads and Gomez gigs, I can’t wait!

freezing night

Steve and I have just signed up for broadband, and we’ve set up a wireless router, so I am quite happily writing this in my room. It’s a freezing night. I’m sitting at my desk, toes burning from the cold. We’ve got two heaters running, I am wearing my nightgown, pyjama bottoms, robe, woolen socks and slippers, and my feet are still freezing. The wind keeps howling past the house and rattling the scaffolding outside. It really is one of the coldest winters New Zealand has had in some time. Down in the South Island, there are people who have been without power for close to two weeks, what with all the heavy, heavy snowfall down there. I don’t know how they are managing. We have power, and it’s still crazily cold.

Friday tomorrow, and I couldn’t be more pleased. I haven’t been well, and the cold is still lingering a bit. Still, I went back to work on Wednesday. Things at work are strange, what with my team shifting from the thirteenth to the first floor of our building, getting a new team leader, and Simon, my closest workmate, leaving the company. It almost feels like a new job - except the work is still pretty boring. I’ve been desperate for something new to do for so long, and really am growing tired of feeling ignored. Whether this is the intent or not, it’s the end effect.

However! Tomorrow is my American Gothic class party. Gothic pizza party. Costume essential… And Saturday, Daph and Graeme are coming round for dinner. Sunday is an afternoon movie at Ben & Tash’s with soup and bread. It’s going to be great.

Oh! And I forgot to mention, I finally got round to getting my hair cut. Six months plus it’s been, since I last had the chop. It’s nice. It feels light and flowey. Flowy. (both look wrong)

Have also completed a couple of articles for NZGamer: a preview for the Legend of Zelda: The Phantom Hourglass, and a review of the very awesome puzzle game, eets. I recommend eets. Go check it out.

But now I’d better head off - I have to burn a CD of music for the gothic party. Will post pictures!

sick (and a few goals)

Hello, I’m writing to you from home today! I have been home for the past five days with a hideous cold - I even spent saturday night puking into a bucket. Nice eh. Today (Tuesday) finds me back in the land of the living, though I would by no means say I am anywhere near 100%. The last few days have gone by in a complete blur. It’s completely bizarre - I think I slept for the middle three days, and today made myself stay awake for most of the day (though I did have a few naps) in an attempt to acclimitise myself to having to get up for work tomorrow.

I suppose the one good thing about going to work tomorrow is that I’m actually on leave for half the day - so I will only be in for the morning. Then I will be heading home to wait for the Telstra man to come and install cable for Steve and I - so from tomorrow onwards, we will have cable TV and a cable modem. I am finally leaving dial-up behind me forever! (Well, for now, anyway.) I hope the cable TV thing isn’t going to be a pain. I mean, I hope we don’t wind up living in front of the TV or something. We pretty much got it so we won’t miss out on sports (rugby, motorbikes, that sort of thing) and I thought getting the Rialto channel might be nice, etc. etc. etc. It all feels a bit…normal, really. It’s going to take a bit of getting used to.

I’m wracking my brain, trying to think of news, but of course, I’ve been home sick, I haven’t got any news. Apparently we have moved down to level 1 at work, so when I return I’ll probably spend most of the morning unpacking all the boxes I packed way back on Thursday. I have a bit of a window view, so it’s not all bad, but I reckon I was ripped off, as we were initially told that we’d be choosing desks based on how long we’d been working at the company - and there are quite a few people with better spots than mine. Ah, to hell with it. I’m looking for a new job. Must remember.

Speaking of which, I have applied for a couple of jobs this evening - both web writing positions, which I think is the only area in IT that I could tolerate at the moment. Fingers crossed. You never know.

One thing that I did do today (aside from finishing my damn embroidered spacegirl on a pillowcase which has been taunting me for the better part of a year) is make a list of a few things that I would like to complete this year (sheesh, I should just come right out and say it, yes, they’re goals). They are:

• get a new job
• pay off my credit card
• finish honours (research topic)
• work on the first draft of my novel

I realise that possibly these are just things to do, but I am not usually a goal-y planny type, so these are pretty good for me. Next year’s thoughts might include:

• think about doing a Master’s degree
• publish something (creative)
• get a part time job

again, not anything earth-shattering, just some things I would like to think about.

Oh, and I’ve been meaning to upload a few more photos. Just… generally. Here you are:

(doh, sorry it’s sideways)

Caveat

Everything’s not completely crap, of course, just work. I had my exam for American Gothic on Tuesday, and it didn’t go as horribly as I thought it would. In fact it felt pretty OK. I’m scheduled in for a haircut. I got paid yesterday. Steve took me out for dinner two nights ago and got us both lovely takeaway curry from Little India last night.

But all the same, I really, really, really hate my job. And sometimes that’s all that seems to exist. It’s hard to look past that to the other stuff, the good stuff.

Catch up time

Have been rather busy lately. Steve and I made a trip through the Whirinaki National Park last week, which was muddy, tiring and so much fun! I’ll definitely be putting in some pictures in the near-ish future. In the meantime, I have an essay to write (on “the grotesque”), a screenplay to think about writing tomorrow, and I’ve just handed in a new preview for the Superman Returns game to NZGamer, who I’ve recently started writing for.

So far I’ve only done a couple of previews, on Untold Legends: The Warrior’s Code, and The Movies: Stunts and Effects. Both were pretty fun to write and research, though I’m looking forward to doing some more reviews. It’s just nice to have a few little projects on the side, I guess.

I’ve also applied for a couple of jobs, though I’m not sure how that department is going at the moment. I didn’t even get an interview for a library job I applied for (part time even!), and had a phone call yesterday for a testing job at Trade Me. You never know though, so I’m not going to start holding my breath. If something happens I’ll be pleasantly suprised. I don’t really want to bad mouth where I am at the moment - it just has a slowed-down, not as happy feeling these days. I’m just not happy. But yeah, I’m working on it.

I’ve also been tossing and turning about whether I should do a research topic as part of my honours degree or not - and I’ve finally decided that I think I’d be happier if I gave it a shot, rather than wondering if I should have done it or not. I want to do it on Haruki Murakami’s The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, tying it in with gothic. It feels like something nice to write about.

American Transcendentalism

A guy from class sent through this link: “American Transcendentalism: An Online Travel Guide”. It’s quite interesting, and also led me to information about this guy, Jim McAlister, who sounds as if he has the coolest job on the planet. “Job” isn’t exactly the best description for it though. “Job” sounds more like what I do.

We were busy over the weekend, shifting the last of Steve’s stuff out of the house. Well, I helped out, while Steve & his parents did most of the work. I was stuck working my way through as much of The Scarlet Letter so didn’t get to help out as much as I wanted. In any case, most of his stuff is at my place now, so fingers crossed we can find a place for all of it. I suspect we can, as most of my stuff seems to have spontaneously thrown itself onto the floor or other available surfaces.

Other than that, not much is on at the moment. Still rather disgruntled with work, but not sure what else I can do to pay the bills. I need some time alone on the side of a mountain to think it all through, or something.

Nearly the end of the month

Loads of things have been going on lately, however, I shall endeavour to list a few:
Aart’s come to stay with me, and he’s been here for a few months already. He’s thinking of heading over to Australia to look for some part time work for a while and then he might come back.
I got an A in my Italian class at university.
Woo hoo!
Ben’s back to start work on King Kong and just got a flat a few doors up the road.
Tomorrow’s payday.
I’m up for a payrise at work.
I’m still doing my Old Icelandic paper at uni. People still think it’s weird.
We’ve just been studying Grettir’s Saga.
I’ve been thinking of starting to sell second hand books online.
I’m trying to get a little more serious about money.
I hope it works. I have credit card debt.

moist and sort of yuck

Hi, I haven’t been around much lately - I’ve been sick for the past three weeks with a mysterious ailment which could be whooping cough. After two weeks of horrible spasming coughs I finally went in to the doctor on Monday (it’s Friday today) and had some tests done and got some antibiotics. I don’t know that much about antibiotics really, I don’t know how long it’s meant to be before you really feel like you’re making some progress. I think my cough is getting better but I still wake up two or three times in the night, choking, coughing, unable to breathe. It’s pretty scary. I had the last two days off work and didn’t leave the house once. Sat around in my robe reading (at the moment I’m re-reading Kerouac’s “Dharma Bums”, a book that reminds me of my second year at university) and sleeping and computering. Not particularly exciting, but I think I have improved a little.

It’s really winter now: you can hardly see the harbour through the window. Everywhere you look you see grey and rain. The sky is that dirty-grey color, not even a steely gray that makes being inside feel cozy. Or maybe it’s just because I’m sick, everything feels like the inside of a lung. Moist and sort of yuck.

But it’s friday. Jeremy’s coming over for dinner tonight (Aart’s famous meatballs). Might go for a drive over to the Wairarapa with James tomorrow, and there’s this writing workshop on Sunday for Radio New Zealand that I’m going to go to. They’ve got a programme that’s going to be on in September called “Open Season” or something, where they want the general public to write for radio. I really don’t know what to expect but I’m going to go along. They’re looking for poetry, short stories and plays. I’ve been trying to write more but with no real space of my own it is proving to be quite difficult.

My dad wants to go halves on a house with me, so I’ve been looking in the papers at properties and going to the odd open home. It’s all early days at the moment, but I quite like the idea of setting up a place of my own. A four bedroom, rent out one or two of the rooms and turn one into a writing room. I can certainly think of worse things, anyway.

My mom’s finally got her car back after the accident. And my dad sold his Suburban, the one he bought new in 1984 when my grandparents came out to the States and we drove around canada - the six of us plus the dog. That car’s been like an extension of my dad - like a foot or something. It seems strange to think that it’s gone now - a guy from Blenheim bought it, who works for Firestone (so already it has some nice new tires!) with three wee kids. Quite nice, really.

Oh, and my Old Icelandic class is getting together this Saturday as well - going to our lecturer’s for dinner and to watch the first part of Wagner’s Ring Cycle. I have never seen this before, apparently it is “hard core” opera, but it’s all based on similar mythology to what we’re studying at the moment. Cool. It’s in 5 parts - the longest is something like 5 hours long, but the bit we’re watching is only a few hours. Should be a laugh anyway.